The last month or so has been quite the opposite. We've had the pleasure of attending the wedding of two good friends who are themselves good friends, hosting one friend visiting from New York and then visiting with a couple of friends from the northeast taking a west coast trek from south to north. I enjoyed the birthday celebration of a friend, and a weekly movie night that I usually cannot attend. I even joined a new band, and during this time we have made a lot of progress moving from a project to a real, tangible thing that we are all moving forward on together. As with relationships, this is often easier said than done. But things seem to be falling into place pretty painlessly.
Tomorrow is my birthday, and today I am celebrating it at a local bar with good drink and food specials. It's a simple gathering of friends, many of whom I have only met in the last couple of years. I have recently gotten to know some people that I value a bit better, which is something I have always had trouble with. Despite my small victories in communicating online and musically I am still socially awkward, often hiding beneath the wings of social butterflies who let me tag along. Internet social networking has helped in some ways but hurt in others. However, I am happily able to attribute my recent efforts in overcoming fear and becoming better friends with good acquaintances to my own progress.
In my debates, I strive to respect everyone, think clearly, and not mistake reasoned contrarian comments for those stemming from ignorance or zealotry. In such a politically tense time, it is difficult for me to not simply play defense because the government currently agrees, in principle, with many of my views. Because its members do not have the luxury of holding detached, philosophical stances as I do, it is highly likely that the government does not agree with me in the manner in which to execute action. My friends of differing viewpoints are sometimes pointing out fine points that I myself may be missing in the 'battle' for defending the argument of action being necessary. They are pointing out the fists flying at my eyes, as I like to think I do for them.
There is a defined partisan line between those who agree with the means of executing action and those who do not that closely resembles the line defining those who agree with taking action and those who do not. I like lopsided, bipartisan votes because it appears that partisanship has briefly taken a back seat to what is legitimately best for most of Americans. It seems to me that if there were legitimate flaws in legislation, someone supporting the action would be pointing out flaws in its execution, not just the ones who do not want action at all. But this is rarely the case. In this I find justification to press my case, for when the supporting contingent were to point out flaws, it indicates that the discomfort in doing so does not outweigh the need for the right actions. On the other hand, perhaps I am simply an ass for thinking so. Perhaps fear-based tactics work so well that supporters do not feel the opportunity to relax and objectively evaluate what it is that they defend. But is this their fault if it is true?
The more at peace I am inside, the less I feel the need to battle instead of debate intelligently. Rabble rousers of any stripe make my blood boil by turning off peoples' minds and putting up their dukes, which chokes off communication of the legitimate points that each side is trying to make. It saps my energy, this perpetration of ignorance, and makes me defensive. Civilized debate cannot occur over shouting and the threat, or execution, of physical violence. When we are at relative peace it is okay to not know the answer, and to collaborate with others of differing viewpoints to create the best possible solution using data that doesn't show black or white.
I believe that the people in this country today are having their fears exploited to a degree that few other generations have to act against their own self-interest. Grasping black or white dogma is the only available defense when they are blinded by extremist fear and short on spare time to do the necessary research.
I hope to continue to channel the positives in my life and the bright points I see in our great nation to try to remain civil, collected, and objective in my attempts to exhibit data supporting my reasoning, with minimal ranting or exaggeration. In turn, I hope to continue to appreciate the same efforts of my friends who do not hold my beliefs, and the support of those who do, because all are vital in maintaining civilized dialogue.
That is what I would like for my birthday.
We didn't get along sometimes growing up, I guess because I thought I wasn't supposed to. But I was far too rules-oriented to stray farther than ideological differences and possibly missing curfew. What annoyed me was that my parents didn't tell me much about what they really thought until I was in my twenties, just what I suppose they thought they had to tell a child. Important, soul-searching topics were out-of-bounds save for some axioms and general guidelines about how to proceed. Some of them still are.
Over time I learned more about who they really were through some life lessons and triangulating with my brother, and now I understand them more. They are more like me than I ever thought, which in hindsight would have been nice to know!
I love them more than anyone. I still don't get along with them on everything but I am much better at leaving those things out of discussions--they learned long ago not to bring those things up, so if I don't then we're all happy. Now I talk with them about the weather, am happy that they are what they want to be, and am frustrated that they aren't what they'd like to be.
carbon is nice but carbon can stop you from doing all the things in life you'd like to
so if there's something you'd like to fry
if there's something you'd like to fry
auctions--they don't say no, nor could I
auctions auctions auctions
auctions auctions auctions
because if it's not biz than it's
Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama that will bring us together
I hate driving and wasting gasoline, but each of these trips were functional--moving a car, someone and/or something across the country. I took a few other road trips in other directions for the same reason. There were usually other days planned to do entertaining things, but they were all functional trips.
Anyhow, when planning the latest trip, I employed Google Maps and saw how easy it is to draw a route in and get a map and directions out. I have always wanted to log my various road trips since they were often me looking at a map and saying "that interstate looks interesting." So I started recreating routes from my other road tripping adventures (at least the ones that took me several states away) and thought I'd archive them here. Feel free to read them if you like.
route: Ithaca, NY to Stillwater, OK
type: round-trip
date: November 1998
passengers: Aaron, Daniel
car: Aaron's truck over, Aaron's Chevy Cavalier back
deal: my friend and bandmate Aaron, who moved to Ithaca from Oklahoma to join our band Mr.Downstairs in the early days of 1998, decided that he needed to trade in his truck for a compact car--at the same place he bought the truck. I tagged along as a second driver and to check out his family, Oklahoma during Thanksgiving, and the Central United States.
notables: First and only time I slept in a gas station parking lot on a road trip. I would also suggest not bringing only cherry cola and potato chips to eat--I woke up with a migraine the day after we arrived.
route: Watkins Glen, NY to Tustin, CA, stopping in Park City, UT
type: one-way
date: October 1999 or 2000
passengers: Daniel, Tracy
car: Tracy's compact car
deal: helping drive my brother's ex-fiance across the country. First cross-country trip.
notables: awkward. Park City was very cool, Cheyenne looked like a glorified truck stop, and Las Vegas was as improbable as I had imagined.
route: Ithaca, NY to Lakeland, FL
type: round-trip
date: April 2003
passengers: Daniel, Heather
car: my 1999 Subaru Impreza (want to buy it?)
deal: Heather had no car and wanted to visit her parents. I wanted to take a spontaneous road trip. Voila.
notables: fun, except for sleeping in the car at truck stops. I read "Wicked" while I was hanging out in Heather's room while she visited with her family. I started to grasp the concept of not having all of your stuff around you, which would come in handy later.
route: Ithaca, NY to Lakeland, FL and back, including Virginia Beach by way of Delaware, Orlando, Miami, Everglades National Park, Key West, the West Florida coast, New Orleans, a college in South Carolina, and West Virginia
type: round-trip with alternate return route
date: December 2003-January 2004
passengers: Daniel, Heather
car: my 1999 Subaru Impreza
deal: an official "vacation," driving Heather to see her parents, but also doing a whole lot of friend and goth club visits and sightseeing. We had some time to explore, I had a college to check out, and why not throw in New Orleans and the Appalachins too?
notables: a good, fulfilling and exhausting time with a whole lot of great vistas and happy chance occurrences, like the ten-mile Virginia Bay bridge, accidentally taking a Savannah, GA exit into the coolest part of town, and arriving at a New Orleans club for dinner just as it closed so we got to stay and see the real deal when the staff closed up and hung out at the bar. New Year's Eve was a Miami goth night and car camping in the Everglades, followed by a drive down the Keys on New Year's Day. 4,500 miles altogether, 1,500 more than a cross-country trip.
route: Ithaca, NY to Eugene, OR
type: one-way
date: June-July 2004
passengers: Daniel
car: 1999 Subaru Impreza
deal: the big move from New York to Oregon to attend the University of Oregon and start career number 2.
notables: The weeks before were a whirlwind of dates and club nights, property reduction (since it was either fitting in my car or not going with me), CD release parties, and emotional goodbyes. Also, I had just met KD a week before and the state of the country was getting to me. It was an emotional ride as much as a physical one, full of personal introspection. I stopped to see the presidents for council, and picked up Bill Clinton's bio while visiting friends in Minneapolis. I called KD a lot along the way, describing what I saw. I was taken by South Dakota, the Crazy Horse Monument, and the Black Hills. I got my first glimpses of Montana and Idaho and cut through the middle of Oregon--what a cross-section it was. I arrived on July 5th and the residence hall assistance building was closed, so I hung out at Taylor's Bar and Grill until I got a good hotel suggestion for the night. I'll never forget it, or the hot air filled with the great smells coming out of the soon-to-be former bakery right next to my building.
route: Binghamton, NY to Springfield, OR
type: one-way
date: March 2005
passengers: Daniel, KD, Cannonball
car: KD's 1998 Honda Civic (RIP 2005)
deal: moving KD--and, at the last minute, her cat--from New York to Oregon to be with me, of all people
notables: where to begin. After several months of my convincing, KD decided to move out to Oregon as well. Three days before my flight (KD was to stay at my studio, and fly back and fly Cannonball across later after we found a cat-friendly apartment), on the eve of my three-day finals week, KD called to say that CB couldn't fly and I had to find a cat-friendly apartment before I left. It was a good thing I wrote my paper early. i took my first final Monday morning, and 25 hours later I had secured an apartment in Springfield. My last final was the next day, and that afternoon I was flying over to New York. We had to get back to Springfield, OR with her car (which was now half emptied of packed things to fit CB) by Friday of the next week for a 3:30pm meeting with our landlords to sign papers and get the keys. The first item of business was making CB comfortable. He did very well riding outside of the carrier with a harness, and by the second day had figured out how to wedge himself in behind the driver's seat and sleep. In two days we had gotten to Lima, Colorado. We wanted to take a route through Utah, Nevada, and California, so we did and that went well except for a trip over the Donner Pass where we were forced to put overpriced, crap chains on our car because there was a 1/4 inch of slush on the ground and we didn't have a 4X4 vehicle. We subsequently destroyed the chains but landed safe and sound in Sacramento for the night. Two days before our appointment, with plenty of time to spare, we left Sacramento, California and took a scenic route out to Arcata. We were almost there when we noticed a recurring tire sound. The busted chains from the night before had apparently punctured the tire, and the slow leak had caught up with us. So, in the rain, with CB watching from the car, we emptied out KD's trunk to get to the spare, changed it, repacked everything, and hustled into Arcata to get the tire patched. There was a tire place right off of the exit but it had just closed so we had to stay the night. We stopped by at 9am the next morning, got the tire fixed and had only 7 hours to get all the way to Springfield. I was loose in my interpretation of the speed signs and experienced the Rogue Mountain interstate stretch first-hand, but we managed to get to our appointment only 15 minutes late. While KD sat down with them, I raced to Eugene to make out a check, raced back, and joined her. This whole time CB was just sitting in the back, barely paying me any mind. By now, the car was his new home. And after scenting hotel after hotel for a week, he felt far happier there. Though once we arrived at the apartment, quite a bit bigger than a hotel room, he did look a bit peeved at us. But we were finally home. We couldn't stand the place and moved out four months later, as soon as our intro lease was up. But CB got to see the redwoods, and I got a free camera, my first. The end.
route: Kirkwood, NY to Portland, OR
type: one-way
date: June 2009
passengers: Daniel, KD
car: KD's mother's 2003 Pontiac Montana
deal: my mother had fallen sick and my parents decided to sell their New York house so I had to clean out my stuff. A lot of KD's stuff also had to be retrieved from her parents' house. And our Impreza had failed to pass its emissions test and was no longer viable to drive. Combine that with an offer from KD's father to give us her deceased mother's paid-off minivan that he didn't use, and you have a semi-convenient plan.
notables: An emotionally and physically exhausting experience. Five years provided a lot of wear-and-tear on the long distance travel skills. We extended the visit to New York to fit in everyone we could. We spent two days sorting through memorabilia from the day we were born and one day packing it. I also had to work on some of the days because I didn't have enough to cover the whole trip, but during that time we were staying with KD's dad who doesn't have internet so I had to scrounge connections from various locations. Still, after several days we had done an admirable job of covering all of the bases. This time we wanted to go north on the way home, following my South Dakota route through Yellowstone and into Montana and Northern Idaho. We started by passing through Pittsburgh to visit a couple of other friends on the way out, which sent us through Indiana, Illinois and Iowa first. By South Dakota we were a few hours behind, tired, grumpy, and starting to fret about making it back in time for KD's summer session so we removed our plan drive-through of Yellowstone in favor of a proper visit later on. This landed us in Coeur d'Alene for dinner at Moontime and a stay at the memorable State Motel. We like quirky motels and we found one. There were two rooms available, and the nice man in Carhart overalls with the dog named Bentley was fixing the A/C unit in the one we took, at the time filled with cardboard, dirt, and Bentley. The stay was fine except for very thin walls and doors, and a few full-time residents a little too loud for our taste. But we hiked down to Couer d'Alene Lake before bed, which was very peaceful. We grabbed coffee and breakfast the next morning and drove out early, making it all the way home that day with a day and a half to tend to the kittehz before KD's session started. I have 500+ pictures to prove that we took this trip, but we had 0 from any other trip except for about 12 from KD's cell during our first trip across. I was just catching up with the past.
I have started a professional grade blog, called life in a rube goldberg machine. Get it? Cool, see you there. If not, this is the blog for you, see you there.
That is all.
I'm not an angry atheist, really I'm not. I have some friends who are and they annoy me. Know why? Black and white. It's all so clear... religion is the cause of all evil, ignorance, and bad stock market adjustments. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nevermind that most of them, like myself, were raised religious. And that their parents are still religious, or at least adhere to fundamental religious principles. And it's not like religious charities aren't doing, literally, a world of good out there in humanitarian efforts.
In the same way that extremist atheists annoy me, so does anyone else that is extremist. That includes a religious friend or two, blinded by dogma into forgetting that human beings think for themselves, or that they invented many, many things to help other human beings that went AGAINST the church, and that thousands of people died at the hand of armies driven by religious ideals. And while religious groups do a lot of good, they have also wreaked absolute havoc over the centuries. No single cause has killed more people than religion has. No single ignorance of the human condition is so exaggerated as that of religious fundamentalists.
But let's not get too into finger pointing. It is, obviously, futile. We are all partially correct and partially wrong. That's because we are all HUMAN.
So, where was I? Ah yes. I am an atheist, secular humanist, sustainability advocate. I am the most persecuted and abused minority of all time and yes, once in a while you do hear me complain. Generally I don't, like a lot of atheists, because we see the damage in declaring oneself more righteous than thou. But that doesn't mean I don't hurt on the inside, so venting occasionally helps. I try to be polite.
My people have recently gained traction on an uprising of sorts, wherein we preach the benefits of common rational sense, a long term perspective (say, longer than one fiscal quarter), and seeing past the end of your nose. It's catching on because of societal guilt based on how people are living. Sometimes God told them to do it, sometimes their conscience, sometimes their kids. But it seems to me that, after some enlightenment, it is a mutually understood concept across humanity. What I don't get is why it doesn't fit in very well at all with Western Civilization's existing processes. What exactly were we aiming for in the first place? Oh, that's right... civilization was built by human power grabs which may or may not have been supported by religion, and is gradually being redesigned into something that benefits all humanity by a few people here and there who give entirely too much to tweak the system slightly. Where did business get the idea of power grabs? Religion showed proof of concept.
It's always difficult to get out of this sort of blog. Perhaps we can go about this with a Monty Python ending:
The Way: you have to choose your own. Go out and learn (see The Truth), and then make up your own mind--often. Be motivated, but try not to overdo it or will lose your mind, get cancer, and/or kill someone. Make yourself a map, otherwise you won't go anywhere.
The Truth: without perspective the only truth you see is right in front of you. Man, that's a scary thought!!! The only groups that have gone out of their way to tell you what to think are companies trying to sell you a product. It doesn't take much imagination to include religion in those products, in fact it's the best seller of all time--at least in book version. The news is trying to sell you entertainment so they get their sponsors, so you can't trust them either. National Public Radio, which we pay for, is pretty decent global news, which I've found translates into progressive news because the US is relatively conservative. If you're American, listen to news from other countries. If you're straight, talk to gay people, and vice versa. Get to know them, and hopefully respect them for something else so you see them as people, not a group of faceless individuals. Talk to people from other countries. Ignore zealots who leave imflammatory comments after web site articles and support the ones that are truly making an attempt to add value to the conversation or work it out in their own heads with the help of others. After some period of time, start to objectively evaluate the things that you hear from your friends. FACTCHECK.ORG and SNOPES.COM!!! Then look around to check for any walls of dogma that you haven't knocked down and go after them. You'll get your heart broken a lot, but look beyond your own personal selfishness and know that it's in your and everyone's greater interest to understand the truest picture of the nature of things that you can get: truth is infinite shades of grey that rely on the perspectives of those involved. Your perspective needs to consider the widest possible array of beliefs and proof to enable you to truly make an informed judgment.
The Light: See The Truth again. Lights are either on or off, black or white. That's not how it works. Some of the blindest people on earth have The Light on. Some folks with their eyes wide open do not subscribe to needing The Light. A reading lamp will do fine for starters.
I got tired of reading my last title, and since things seem to be better than they were a week ago, why not write a more cheerful blog?
the cats are getting along a bit better. Lucy is tolerating Aesop (below) a bit better, and a few thumps on the head went a long way with Aesop for not getting in Lucy's face all the time. I now understand corporal punishment... nothing else got through to him.
Anyhow, they chase each other around and play hide-and-seek with each other. Lucy likes watching Aesop play with the plastic donut with the ball stuck in it for 20 minutes at a time, and he watches her do this and that. She doesn't seem to mind Aesop sitting on my lap either, though she's definitely still jealous. And life continues...
Our catalytic converter repairs cost far less than both the mechanic and I thought it would. Tomorrow I go for our third attempt to pass emissions testing and get a damn registration sticker before we are officially illegal. So much chaos--we were gone for a week and got back last Thursday, enough time to work for two days and get the car repaired. Then we were out all weekend, though the car wasn't ready yet anyhow. Now I need to go in on a Tuesday, which I'm told by everyone is the worst day of the week to get your emissions tested. It would go well enough if the car computer was actually reset this time.
It's spring, which is in name only around here but it does encourage you to look on the bright side. It can't be more than... 5 months until summer...
Regardless of the weather, there are two theXplodingboys shows coming up in the next 32 days. One is at The Know on April 11th. The second is May 1st at the Wonder Ballroom with the cool local Joy Division band Unknown Pleasures, and probably a third band as well. It's a big space, so you need to come out and help fill it!
Obama "fired" Rick Wagoner, the former CEO of General Motors. That smacks of figureheads and scapegoats. I know Mark Hurd has little to do with the decisions that Hewlett-Packard makes. He's the front man to investors and Wall Street. It's the lower-level managers who make the strategic decisions and maintain the status quo. Like the upper-level shmucks at AIG who got big bonuses but then (pretty much) gave them back. Bet you didn't think I'd feel like that about it, did you?
I'm actually interested to see how GM and Chrysler deal with the 60- and 30-day deadlines to propose even more radical changes and organize a merger with Fiat, respectively. Reminds me of an 80s Twilight Zone episode (the ones in color, if that helps) where aliens come to earth to ask us to make ourselves more interstellarly valuable to the universe in 24 hours or be destroyed. 24 hours later they come back and the President or whoever hands him a big book (still trying to figure that out) and says "here you are... world peace!" The alien looks at him and says, "I'm afraid you misunderstood me... I meant you needed to make better weapons!" Then alien UFOs descend and everything goes dark.
Well, maybe it's not like that but it does remind me of it. Of course I often think of that episode, as well as the one with the Vietnam vet guy who can't go to sleep or the Vietnam War comes alive all around him, so I was probably just waiting for a suitable situation to come along so I could say it reminded me of that Twilight Zone episode. I certainly hope the other one isn't realized any time soon.
And, I'm done.
well, the last 7 weeks have been interesting. Lots of ups, mainly band, and downs, mainly the rest of my life. Let's start on the ups, shall we?
on February 7th theXplodingboys played their first show of 2009 at McMenamin's Lola's Room. It was two sets of tXb with a set by Adrian H and the Wounds in between, and I thought it went really well. The first set was better but it all felt pretty good and there was a good response. A month later on March 6th tXb played again at the Tonic Lounge with two other tribute bands, Broken Bodies (Misfits) and Unknown Pleasures (Joy Division). Unknown Pleasures had a lot of hype and a lot of hope but they delivered and everyone loved them. they also loved us, and Broken Bodies. It was a great night and a lot of fun.
Where Lola's was a nicer venue with one of the only remaining ballroom dance floors, the Tonic was more like a dive that reminded me of the better places that Mr.Downstairs played--nice big dance floor, decent acoustics, black walls with a lot of stickers and a cool crowd. May looks to be quite eventful for tXb, as we have a show planned at the Wonder Ballroom, another end-of-month show in the works, and a possible tour in the middle of the month! We'll see how that all pans out but it's clearly the busiest month, and year, for the band since I joined in 2007 for the Convergence 13 show.
as for the rest, ugh. We got a new kitten named Aesop on February 14th. That was good but stressful, as can be the case with an existing cat. Lucy was used to a cat that didn't do much or claim anything, so it was okay that she was not aggressive. A new male kitten turned her world upside down. It's better now around the house, but it did bother me for a while because she is my cat and we had things that we did that Aesop interrupted. He didn't mean to, he's a kitten--he's interrupting everything.
I got a call on February 16th from my brother saying that my mom was really sick. I flew out that night to Jacksonville, FL where my parents just bought a house, and where my brother's family has been for several years. A few days later we found out that she had cancer, and that it had metastasized. I remember being ready to take on the world again for the first time since Cannonball died on January 30th on February 16th. That lasted about three hours before things fell apart again. I was back in Oregon a week later. Then right after the March 6th tXb show we both got the flu. Right before that, of course, we had booked another flight to Jacksonville that we couldn't cancel, so we "power rested" to try to be better. We're in Jacksonville now and we're okay but not great. We're told that we can wear masks when we go to see my mom so our sickness and her chemo don't have a tragic result. No pressure...
The last kick in the butt, and ironic at that, is that in late January I got a car registration reminder--renew by March 3rd. But we live in Portland now where there an emissions test is required before you can renew your registration. With all of the other chaos--Cannonball's death, mom's cancer, two shows, a new kitten, as well as a stressful quarter for KD at school--we didn't get around to dealing with the car until the end of February. We failed the emissions test--the check engine light has been on for several years because it fires occasionally and I got tired of paying $75 to clear the error codes. We took the car into a repair shop and they cleared the codes for free, then said to go to get it tested again. But before I could I had to drive the car for ~100 miles or a few days to let the car computer reset. This necessitated us driving the car more than we normally would, hence the irony.
So I started driving to work. On the second day after the repairs I took the car to be tested again, but the computer hadn't reset yet so I wasted my time. The next day I was on my way to get it tested after work and the check engine light came on again. So much for getting it passed on time, but it didn't matter--the sticker says March so we had the rest of the month to take it back to the repair shop and repeat the whole process.
The first time we went to the repair shop we had found out that the left rear wheel bearing had gone out, for the third time in 18 months. So before we brought it back we took it to a second repair shop we had gone to a year earlier for the bearing work trying to get a warranty job. We did, but it took two days of hemming and hawing and we didn't get it back for an extra day. I wouldn't have minded but I had the Tonic tXb show that night--the only time I really need my car. The following Monday we took it to the first repair shop for another emissions fix. This was about the time we caught the flu. Several days later, after I started going into work again, I was taking it to get it tested for a third time and the check engine light went on yet again. Now there is nothing else we can do but take it in for repairs again to replace the catalytic converter for a princely sum. After three tickets to Jacksonville, vet fees and two prior car repairs already, our savings has taken a hit along with my will.
It's cold today by Jacksonville standards--60, overcast and windy--but it's still nice by Oregon standards and we have the window cracked. My brother's family has the flu too so they don't mind us. We're better off than they are right now as far as that goes. Despite my mother's situation, I'm looking at this visit as--hopefully--an end to a very dark chapter in my life. I suppose it beats things being in my head like usual. Tragedy has a way of putting everything else into perspective, but I've had quite enough, thank you.
our beloved black cat. He was abused as a kitten, was rehabilitated by KD after she got him over several years, and ended up taking good care of her through many tough times. It's safe to say that I wouldn't have met her if it wasn't for him.
I met him when he was 12. He was huge, and interesting. He had seen other guys around, so that was no big thing for him. He was a little aggressive so I loved toying with him to piss him off. I moved him and KD across the country to Oregon in March 2005. He was put off by the motion for the first couple of days but by the third he was basically passed out sprawled across the back seat. By the fifth day he was perched on top of his massive catbox in the back seat, sightseeing out the window. He even helped us change a tire in California. We also got a kick of people's impressions of him at the drive-through windows.
Cannonball loved being outdoors. Our first second story place together had a great porch that he loved to sit out on. He would "sing" to the people and animals passing by. When we moved to Eugene we could let him and our other new cat Lucy explore around outside and he enjoyed that too. Everyone knew him, and we knew everyone else's cats too. It was a great neighborhood.
He was just hanging out for the most part after we moved to Corvallis in summer 2007, but he was still playing with Lucy pretty regularly. We couldn't let the cats outside, but we ended up taking them out on leashes anyway--it was only fair, dogs were running all over the place without leashes, which was also against the rules.
When we moved to Portland in summer 2008 we went out of our way to get a fenced-in back porch for the cats, and we did. He spent a decent amount of time out there, smelling the air, watching and listening to the birds while Lucy perched up on the fence, and laying in the sun. The living room couch, where he spent most of his time, also got a lot of sun. It couldn't have been much better.
On his last day, after weeks of suffering and days of laying around barely able to walk, I happened to open the porch door for a moment. It was cold and foggy out, but Cannonball got right up and walked outside. He was having his last day out. I cried, then went out and spent some time with him on the cold concrete. After a little while he came back in, walked around the living room a bit and even toyed with Lucy. It was like his last goodbye to the things he enjoyed. KD and I were with him all day. When the doctor came to euthanize him on the couch where he loved to sit, it was hard but clearly the best thing. He didn't go anywhere after his last adventuring, just laid there for hours as we pet him and he purred. Then he was gone.
We'll miss you buddy. No more pain.
A podcast of the show will be available after a few days. It's the 2/1 Musicology show. It went really well.
yes, it's been more than two years since I've sunk to this level in a blog, but here you go.
1) I'm left-handed.
2) I can wiggle my ears separately. My brother taught me how to find the muscles when I was about eight.
3) I have been playing the drum set for 21 years.
4) I have been married twice (and, not surprisingly, divorced once).
5) I am named after my father's best friend who died in Vietnam.
6) I first noticed the radio in 1982. I thought the songs were minimal, as in they needed more instrumentation. I proceeded to be thoroughly unimpressed with 95% of pop music to date.
7) The first album that I instantly loved was Led Zeppelin IV. I heard it in 1988.
8) I discovered Nine Inch Nails' Pretty Hate Machine and Smashing Pumpkins' Gish because they were on cassette copies of other albums I was borrowing.
9) I consider Smashing Pumpkins to be the band with the perfect career, warts and all. At least until 2007. Now I'm indifferent.
10) I watch X-men movies compulsively.
11) The Dark Knight just might be my favorite movie of all time. It certainly is now.
12) I don't like to swim.
13) My drums didn't move to Oregon until two years after I did. The longest I've ever gone without touching a drum set was January 2005 to June 2006. Then I visited a music store, practiced some songs on an electronic drum kit for a few hours, and had my drums shipped from New York to Los Angeles for a drummer audition. If I had accepted less money I probably would have gotten the gig, but fortunately I had just gotten an MBA and knew what I was worth.
14) I reviewed albums on CDreviews.com for about two years. I got into it because one of my MBA classmates was a co-editor of the site.
15) I still think albums are relevant. Not always, but sometimes, just like before.
16) I think the bigger your worldview, the more you lean to the left.
17) I will always appreciate what my parents sacrificed so that I could do what I have in life, even if they weren't particularly happy about what it was.
18) I would really like The Cure In Orange and The Cure in Japan (1984) on DVD.
19) The 2002 Mr.Downstairs live show at the Steel Music Hall on YouTube was the last show we ever played. Our singer's then-girlfriend happened to bring a camcorder that night.
20) I was raised Roman Catholic and have a semi-hazardous relationship with guilt and self-sacrifice.
21) It took me 15 years to make my mind up about God.
22) It took me three years to conclude that every problem in the world stemmed from unsustainable practices (economic, societal, environmental, or some combination). Now I am into sustainability.
23) I liked my pizza delivery job for 2.5 years before it started grating on me. I only hope I can find a job that fun again.
24) I think economics would work if all resources were included instead of calling some of them externalities and lumping them all into one bucket that is subsequently ignored because they don't fit in a model. Our health and the health of everything on our planet are in that bucket, and that's why we are in the position we are at this point in history.
25) I think if we wait until we understand what we are doing to the planet to act, it will be too late. Besides, it would be nice to breathe clean air, live simply, advance human rights, and generally get along a bit better wouldn't it? Let's just do that now instead of waiting for even more evidence.
I had to laugh with satisfaction when I read this today in a New York Times editorial by Paul Krugman entitled "Lest we Forget":
"While the housing bubble was still inflating, lenders were making lots of money issuing mortgages to anyone who walked in the door; investment banks were making even more money repackaging those mortgages into shiny new securities; and money managers who booked big paper profits by buying those securities with borrowed funds looked like geniuses, and were paid accordingly. Who wanted to hear from dismal economists warning that the whole thing was, in effect, a giant Ponzi scheme?"
I had to laugh because back in 2006 (when the housing bubble was still inflating) Newphase wrote a song about unchecked urban sprawl called Landmover that included my thoughts about what some delusional folks like to call "smart growth." I was panned by my friends for being too cynical. You decide:
"Economy built on continuous growth is a Ponzi scheme."
Does it still sound cynical? Maybe I should have used more words and published it in the New York Times.
Economists have an aptly suitable name for the current financial situation, by the way: MARKET FAILURE. It's the inability of the financial markets to WORK. Too bad they only announce a market failure when things go bad, because financial markets don't work the rest of the time either. If they did, they wouldn't fail at all.
The nature of thinking sustainably is that you know what it isn't working and where it will likely lead. It's nice to see some checkpoints realized, but at the same time it's very depressing--kind of like the parents who have to let their child get his or her ass kicked or heart stomped on, hoping that they will learn some hard lessons.
Capitalism needed to get its hand spanked. Every action has an equal and opposite reaction, and I would ask that you please personally realize this so when we rebuild our economy we don't lose sight of reality. If we don't include the nature of things in the equation then it will include itself anyway.
Wal-Mart Employee Trampled to Death by throngs of bloodthirsty, mindless shoppers at 4:55am EST. Charming. Hope you got the useless junk you wanted for less today.
- Mood:
pissed off
Anyhow, this seems like a better place to write blogs than Myspace, where I have been writing them since 2005. Feel free to read the backlog. From now on I'll be posting them here.
Who knows, maybe one day I'll join Facebook.
- Mood:
blank
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